Almost
by maan
Summary: (Harm/Tony slash) They almost didn't make it as a couple. Find out how Harm messed up and Sarah saved the day.
1. Chapter 1

**1**

"_**who's going to be your best man? " Harm asked Tony**_

_**Tony shrugged. "not sure yet. Its not like I have my own Sarah or anything"**_

_**This took Harms mind years back. Without Sarah there wouldn't have been a wedding at all **_

Sarah was looking for Harm. She had had it with him and his awful attitude. She could only put up with so much.

He had actually yelled at Harriet, Harriet of all people. She didn't know what was up with him but he was in for a hell of a reality check, marine style.

If he continued on like this he wouldn't have any friends left. At this point she wasn't even sure if she would call herself his friend.

She had been by his apartment, his favorite park to run, his mechanic, his favorite bar, she even called his mother en Serge. In the end she had just one option left and that was the small hangar witch housed Harms plane.

As she drove towards it she started to put things in order in her head. When had Harms mood begin to deteriorate?

It had begun gradually. He hadn't been seeing someone as far as she knew. Although she suspected Harm finally had someone in his life. After Mattie moved out almost a year ago she expected him to mope around for a while but although he had missed her and they still called weekly he had moved on. Seeming happier and more settled then she ever knew him to be.

But had disappeared over the course of one month. What had happened? Nothing to do with his father or he would have told her. His career was finally out of its flunk. He hadn't been on any secret CIA missions as far as she knew and his mother and Frank were in good health. Whats crawled up your ass and died Rabb?

She parked her car and started to look out for the owner of the airstrip. Soon she noticed a middle aged man sweeping the Floor in Hangar 1.

"hello, "

"hello, little lady "

Sarah crinched but decided that fro now finding Harm was a bit more pressing and asked

"I'm looking for Commander Rabb. Have you seen him"

The man grinned and somehow managed to keep his cigarette hanging between his lips.

"seen him? The bugger is becoming a permanent fixture. He has been up in his plane most nights this week "

Sarah shook her head . Of course Harm would go and fly at night.

"is he up there now?" and she looked up towards the sky.

The man nodded while blowing smoke out of his nostrils.

"yeah, should be coming in any minute now to refuel , your right on time missie.

"Your his woman?" he then asked

she shook her head. "no just a friend"

"yeah right "he shot back. "well if your not the lassie he is trying to fly out of his system someone else is. I recognize the signs "

Sarah was startled when she saw Harm climb out of the cockpit. He looked like hell.

She hadn't noticed when she saw him in uniform, but he lost weight. His jeans just barely hung around his waist and he looked like he hadn't taken a proper bath or shave in a week. Witch she knew not to be true because he had looked well groomed in court yesterday.

"Harmon Rabb Junior get your ass in here now " she called out in her best Colonel voice.

She saw his yaw set as he heard her, but after a moment he seemed to brace himself and strode towards her.

"what are you doing here? " he snapped as soon as he reached her.

"I'm here to tell you to get your head out of your ass and start acting like a normal person again "

"and who are you to decide whats normal. Maybe i am being normal. Maybe I'm not acting but am just the way i was made! "

Confused Sarah looked at Harm. Not the reaction she had expected him to give.

"what the hell are you talking about Harm? I know you, you are not like this"

"you don't know me "he yelled back

"of course i know you , you big stupid fly boy!"

"no you don't…Nobody does….."

Something in his eyes made her stop from yelling back. He looked so sad.

"then tell me, tell me who you are Harm. "

Apparently her calm tone made him consider it. He took a deep breath and replied whispering

"I'm the biggest hypocrite of the god damn military "


	2. Chapter 2

2

"a hypocrite Harm you? " Sarah uttered surprised.

If anything Harm judged himself to a higher moral standards then he judged others

Harm closed his eyes for a moment. Then took of towards the hangar.

Hypocrite, Sarah mind kept repeating. Hypocrite?

She thought back to the cases she and Harm had been working the last couple of weeks. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then it hit her. The realization took her breath away and made her hart beat in her throat.

Harm…Harm….o god …he….

Slowly she followed him into the hangar.

She had to think, think Sarah!, Think! she ordered herself.

This is not about you…someone you care for very much needs you right now. Put aside the silly dreams you never quit believed in yourself.

"Harm, Harm stop" she yelled after him.

He stopped, partly turned and then surprised and shocked her by punching the wall of the hangar with a closed first really, really hard.

And by the looks of it it hurt like a sonofabitch

"of all the things…you stupid…"she ran to him and took his fist in her hands. He had breached the skin and it already started to swell.

"Harm look at me, LOOK at me "

He looked up hesitantly avoiding her eyes as much as possible.

"You didn't tell and i didn't ask but i think i know now"

Before she could judge his reaction he already turned his head to the floor again. In a reflex, finding maternal instincts she never suspected she had, she reached out and pulled him into a hug. Apparently that had been the right thing to do because soon Harm relaxed. She felt his shoulders hitch and felt something wet trailing down her neck.

Quickly she scanned the area but the chain smoking Englishman was nowhere to be seen.

When Harm finally became quiet in her arms,no longer crying tears he had never allowed himself to fall she guided him towards a nearby bench.

And out came to whole depressing story. About a boy who desperately wanted to fill in his fathers footsteps so he hide his true nature. A boy who grew up in a man wanting to serve his country. A man that after years of loneliness had finally found a partner that didn't mind the need to be secretive. A partner he had pushed away after almost a year because he couldn't live with himself winning a case against someone for the same crime he himself was committing.


	3. Chapter 3

3

So now Sarah found herself on her second missing person case of today.

Now she was searching the local hang outs of some very Special Agent. Who by the looks of it what sleeping his way though every night club in town. He'd better have started that AFTER Harm dumped him or she would have to kill him.

When she finally tracked him down she spend some time observing him from a corner of the nightclub. He was pretty. Tall, lean , artfully tousled hair with the air of old money surrounding him.

She hated that type. It made her feel inadequate, acutely reminding her of her own lacking upbringing.

Shaking that feeling off...thinking about her best friend who she left spend and miserable sleeping in her bed .. she moved towards him.

He turned around smiling.

Wauw that was one hell of a smile he packed there. Momentarily stunned she didn't speak so he took the opportunity to start the conversation

"so I was wondering when you would finally come over here. What kept you honey, you like admiring from afar? "

Ow Harm, she thought, how the hell could you fall so hard for such a sleazeball?

'its not honey, its colonel McKenzie. And I was not admiring you but observing. I'm here about Commander Rabb "

She almost got a whiplash from the one-eighty he made. Gone was the relaxed graceful inviting posture. For her stood a man with almost military posture and a hard cold face.

"what do you want? "he snapped.

"i just want to talk to you about Rabb"

"there is nothing to tell. We were friends and that's all your going to get out of me "

he made a sharp turn and walked towards the exit.

To late she realized how this must look from his perspective.

It did impress her a bit though, that he didn't take the opportunity to get back at Harm. The way Harm told her, he had dumped this Tony guy in a spectacularly ugly way.

She went after him and grabbed his upper arm. He hissed in pain and almost went to the ground

"Wow sorry what just happened there? "

He shrugged like it was nothing but she saw sweat drops appear on his forehead and he was looking distinctly gray.

"nothing just a bullet grace. You grabbed the precise spot. Now get away from me "

"i don't think you understand. I'm not here to out Harm or do anything to him. I'm his friend"

Green eyes seemed to take her measure.

"Colonel McKenzie? You must be Mac right? "

She nodded.

"what the time?"

"Huh"

"whats the exact time?" he snapped

"01.23"

He checked his wristwatch A terrible flashy Rolex by the looks of it, but accurate because he nodded satisfied.

So now she found herself staring in the face of Harms ex-boyfriend over a cup of coffee in an all night diner

"so Colonel Sarah McKenzie what do you want to talk about and hurry up because I'm having a really shitty week in an even shittier month and I really need to get layed tonight if I will have any change of facing my team tomorrow "

_**Harm had never found out what they had talked about. He only knew that when he woke up the next morning Tony was sitting in Mac's living room painting her toenails. **_


End file.
